Vice

Bipolar disorder can cause risky behavior.

I am currently in a season of acceptance. The thing about acceptance is that you can’t reach it unless you are aware.

Awareness of my mental illness, coping mechanisms, emotions, the life I live.

I mentally untangle as I work hard to become aware and to accept what that awareness will bring. I hustle to find positive coping mechanisms; refinishing furniture, running, CrossFit, multiple MLM business starter. I wish I could say that all my vices stay in the positive lane, unfortunately that’s not the case.

My most impactful vice is spending copious amounts of money. I’m an equal cash/credit spender. I am a TJ Max bag hider. I spend hours tracking the Fed Ex truck just to make sure there is no one home when he drops the packet on my door mat. If I need to avoid my emotions, you better hide your pocket book because like an addict, at times I will find clever ways to spend and work over time to hide my vice. I am the favorite Direct Level Marketing target. If I am manic and decide your product is going to allow me to spend money and create cash flow I’m all in. Like skip add to cart and click Buy It Now. Ok, before you are like “oh shit I may be bi polar”. While I don’t want to share the details of my vice I will say that the lengths that I would go to in order to spend is extreme. In addition to many other manic and depressive behaviors that attribute to my diagnosis. If you spend a little more money than you have…you’re an American…not bipolar.

I am seeing a therapist three times a week and we are currently discussing the science behind mental illness and connecting the dots of my past to now to understand why I do the behaviors I do. This alone has had a tremendous affect on my wellness journey.

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